Friday, March 16, 2012

thought loops

the sun is streaming in the window after several days of it feeling as if the rains would never cease.
I sit in it for several minutes while checking my email and visiting blogs that uplift me creatively and spiritually before I even notice that it is there. It is a welcome sight after the darkness.

I have been consumed lately with my shortcomings. What I cannot do instead of being thankful for what I can. This isn't about what gifts that I have. this is about things like limitations of being able to do for my children and others. Limitations freeze me up. My mind is consumed with trying to figure it out and is lost in a constant loop in doing so.

How can I be at work and also get Hannah to soccer practice at the same time? A thought comes to ask others and so I do. One response and it flutters away. How can I expect others to pick up where I cannot? Part of me says it isnt their responsibility, but another part screams inside "remember...this is what we are supposed to be to one another" We are supposed to hold one another up.

The kink in the chain is that as a society everyone is running to and fro so hurriedly that we miss the need in someone else's life that we can fill. Oh I pray that my eyes are open to the need in others lives that I am supposed to fill instead of being filled only with my own.

So my mind continues to cycle wondering, wondering. How can I be in two places at one time? How can we as a whole become more aware of our neighbor's needs and help in the small ways?

If we are only drawn to our reflection in the mirror then the world becomes a very small place.

the sun is calling me to put on my walking shoes and come outside.
my mind is yelling "yes! yes! go out and walk, notice all of the beauty around and stop thinking about rides to practice.
give... it... to... God."

I will do my best to do just that. let go of my limitations and give them to God.

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